Females Today, Part 1

I know what you’re thinking. Maybe. Oh joy, some more stuff about females. Wonderful. However, I’d appreciate it if you just read for a little bit. There are two things I want to discuss in this post series: society’s view of females and females’ view of females. I’ll start with the latter.

I am female. I am a teenaged girl and, as snarky and possibly stuck-up as it sounds, I am different. I only have one social media – Facebook – and I don’t want anymore. I just learned how to put on eyeshadow and blush this past summer, and it wasn’t because my parents were trying to keep me away from it. I have purposely avoided learning make up until then, and it was actually my mom who wanted me to learn this past summer. I would’ve been content either never learning it or waiting. I’m not a naturally pretty girl – some days I’ll look pretty depending on what I’m wearing and how I do my hair. I have very strong features. I say this factually – I don’t have a low self-esteem about my looks; it’s a fact and I think it would be more dangerous to lie to myself. My looks don’t matter anyway and if somebody doesn’t like them they can go jump in a lake. So now let me tell you why I avoided makeup. Throughout my life, my dad has told me this super irritating refrain whenever I say “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”. He would respond with “But did you mean not to?” He wanted me to get this idea of purpose – not just passively sitting by but actively moving for a purpose. And unknowingly, I applied this idea to makeup.

The other day I heard someone tell a friend “I wouldn’t feel pretty today without it” speaking of makeup. That just sounded so extremely sad to me. That somebody – a young female teen around my own age – felt she needed makeup in order to look pretty, even for just one day. That she would feel ugly without it. I saw a meme or something on Facebook a few minutes ago that spoke to guys and told them if they wanted to be in a relationship they’d have to accept that there were going to be days their girlfriend would have a bad attitude because her eyeliner didn’t turn out right. What!? But the thing is, this idea is all over the place. This idea that all girls wear makeup and all girls are dependent on their makeup and all girls care about their makeup. But why? I purposely avoided learning makeup because I didn’t want to be one of those girls. I didn’t want to rely on makeup to feel good about myself and feel pretty. And I don’t. Makeup is like a bubblebath to me; it’s something to wear when I feel like putting a little extra into myself that day. Or sometimes I just like to play with the colors. But everywhere around me there are girls who care so so much. They use face masks and hair products and everything under the sun. Why? Even Christian girls. God says that we are beautiful. My friend was talking to me about dying her hair one time because she didn’t like it’s color and my dad overheard. He told her “I don’t think you should do it. You know why? Because I think dying your hair because you don’t like it’s color is telling God you think he made a mistake.” That’s stuck with me. It wasn’t the action itself he had a problem with, it was the thought behind it. I don’t like my hair color; I would look better with x color hair. You know better than God? It’s similar with makeup – you don’t think you look pretty without makeup? News flash: if God thought we would be better with makeup on, he would have made us that way. Makeup does not define our worth. Going without makeup has it’s problems in today’s society, but let me tell you something else: I walk around more confidently when I’m not wearing makeup than when I am. I am comfortable in my own skin. I have acne and big eyebrows and strong features and a nose that might even be described as slightly bulbous, but I love myself.

So I have a challenge for you females reading this: For 1-2 months, go without makeup. Not completely – allow yourself makeup one day a week. And during those 1-2 months, surround yourself with friends and do fun stuff. Laugh and forget you don’t have makeup on. And when you go into the bathroom and see yourself without makeup, smile at the mirror – even if it’s forced – and focus on your eyes. Think about the fun times you’ve had and watch your eyes light up and see yourself without makeup. You can even pull in a friend to do it with you! (Please, please don’t do this without a good, supportive friend!) While you do this, read your bible every day and ask God to show you your beauty and ask him to use it to help someone else.

Taking action on your own starts the process, taking action with someone else keeps you accountable, and taking action for someone else takes the focus off of you.

One more thought: Whenever you get married – or if you are married – your husband will/does wake up next to you when you don’t have makeup on. He will not/does not love you for how you look with makeup on! If he does, then he needs to get something right with God.

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4 responses to “Females Today, Part 1

  1. One thing I liked about drama class was that everyone had to learn how to correctly apply and remove make up – it didn’t matter if it was girls trying to out-do each other for most stunning make-up over all or guys figuring out to make realistic-looking fake scars and bruises. Before I hadn’t realize that make-up has some power in and of itself. Some ancient Christians thought that for women to wear make-up it was an act of deception – and that thought was from about a millennia and a half ago, give or take a few decades. To be honest, I think God know how everyone looks with and without make-up. My aunts would say: “God created make-up, so it’s a good thing that we should enjoy.” I happen to think that there’s not a ‘one size fits all’ approach to anything; I know some women feel that they’re not fully dressed if they don’t wear make-up, some women get more confidence when the right color highlights their natural beauty, and some women like to hide the natural imperfections to enhance the natural perfection they already have. Let’s not attach too many rules, let’s get rid of any stigma, let’s give people the freedom to chose to do that which suits them and let’s not shame them for doing something that we wouldn’t do. Make-up only has the power that we give it – but if we just see it for what it is, then there’s no harm either way.

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    • That’s true. I was trying to comment on how some people feel like they aren’t enough without makeup, like they aren’t pretty. It’s fine to wear makeup; what isn’t fine is when it takes over and starts telling a girl what she’s worth. It isn’t okay to give makeup more power than God in determining beauty.

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      • Every now and then, I think ti’s okay to go around what God has done – I had a great aunt whose hair started to turn grey when she was in her 20s, giving her no end of grief. She chose to dye it back to a normal color so that people would stop treating her differently than her friends. Many of the women in my family are small and look much younger than they actually are, it takes make-up and changing their hair color to help them look like their actual ages. How you look governs how people will treat you – and it gets very annoying to be treated like a young child when you aren’t one just because you look like one.

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